Surrrendering My Soul To the Lender...
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012
by Alessandro Monte
I always been unsure of how to go about this thing we call Faith, and felt totally inadequate to become a speaker about what I could not explain or show in my own walk what it is all about, but regardless of all the nays about it from others and even myself, my heart had a loud yes and Amen as an answer always.
I was scared to death, if you want the truth of it I always wonder how could such a flawed man represent, speak, or write about the love of God, His mercy, grace, and all other amazing and uncountable gifts. So before that day I was chosen as imperfect as I was and still am nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else. But was the numerous Messages He placed in my heart that overflow and spill over into the pages of Facebook and brought many of you as friends.
Today in this late night the clock says 3:30 am, this fighting heart has grown tired, still filled with faith and willingness waiting for my next step, my next journey, from the bottom of the worst moments in my life, ashamed for not being who I should have been, embarrassed for failing so often and so many, the heart aches, the body reacts, the mind overloaded with thoughts of what it could been, and what I need to still be, ready to surrender my soul to the lender.
I do exactly what He have asked us to do; to place all my cares to Him, to not worry about tomorrow, merely to place one foot in front of the other and keep on walking the journey He has written for me, a Best Seller in His eyes, filled with testimonies, amazing miracles, and a show of Love that will continue to spark the light of hope in many out there, all because I choose to endure the worst so that the Best in me, our God can rise from my death and shine His loving light, so as I lay my head down to try to sleep tonight through all the pain in my heart, through all my failures, all my needs and lacks, may give others the best opportunities not to face the things I been going through.
Father I give you my heart, bleeding tears of joy to serve You, an aching body, a tired mind, and a life far from being what it should or could, but in all and all l just want to say a grateful prayer! Have a wonderful!
Alessandro Carlo Monte, 01/27/2012, (C)
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